Friends With Benefits

Recently I got a workmate whose goals and ambitions are so similar to mine that in the 3 weeks of our friendship I have grown a lot more than I have in years of friendships I have had with friends I have had my whole life (no shade).  So in this post I want to share 6 reasons why you really need reassess your friendships and surround yourself with people who are like minded.

Your conversation is productive

A lot of time socializing with some friends is spent in talking about other people, clothes, makeup, men basically frivolous stuff. Granted it is extremely entertaining but after hours of socializing your head is as empty as it came. When I converse with my workmate our conversation normally drifts towards public health and goals that have tangible benefits to our lives. If you spend hours with your friends talking about clothes and makeup and you have no intention of being a fashion designer you need to see your life.

Accountability

A friend who understands how difficult your postgrad diploma in statistics is or how competitive grad schools are for your line of profession is more likely to be on your case about how much progress you have made. Probably because they have done it before, want to do it, want to do something similar or understand its importance. When your friends have different goals they may nag you if you have gotten "it" done not fully understanding what "it" is. This is unlike your like-minded friend who can check in at each point with guidance and constructive opinions.

Understanding

Achieving goals comes with a lot of frustrations and setbacks and sometimes you don't need someone rubbing your back saying its ok when clearly your world is falling apart. Having friends who understand what it is you are doing, and who can simultaneously freak out and come up with useful solutions instead of rubbish comfort is so essential!

Resources

I remember the one time my friend sent me notes on outbreak control and told me to watch Contagion after if I didn't want to forget the steps followed in disease outbreak.

honestly which of my accounting friends was going to hook a sister up with such knowledge!? Your goal-twin-hommie has access to resources that you also need! having them at your right hand side means instant access to information that is beneficial for your growth.

Networking

When you are friends with someone who is on similar brain levels as you, chances are they know someone else on The Levels. Soon enough like a spiderweb, you will be connected with such a wholesome cocoon of people in your goal family providing you with all the ingredients you need to be unstoppable which leads to my last point which is:

Progress

As feminist humans we are not trying to be stagnant. The greatest benefit of having friends with similar goals is that they help you achieve them!

So ultimately am I encouraging you to go dump all your friends... no, but! you may want to reconsider how much time you spend with them which is a hard lesson I am trying to learn as well. So I am going to end this with a short exercise which is kind of helping me prioritise my friendships.

• List your most important goals in life in hierarchy of their importance. 
• Against them write the names of friends who are beneficial in achieving those goals
• Prioritize your social time according to those friends... 

If none of your friends make the cut... you may need some new friends 😳😳😳.