Friends With Benefits

Recently I got a workmate whose goals and ambitions are so similar to mine that in the 3 weeks of our friendship I have grown a lot more than I have in years of friendships I have had with friends I have had my whole life (no shade).  So in this post I want to share 6 reasons why you really need reassess your friendships and surround yourself with people who are like minded.

Your conversation is productive

A lot of time socializing with some friends is spent in talking about other people, clothes, makeup, men basically frivolous stuff. Granted it is extremely entertaining but after hours of socializing your head is as empty as it came. When I converse with my workmate our conversation normally drifts towards public health and goals that have tangible benefits to our lives. If you spend hours with your friends talking about clothes and makeup and you have no intention of being a fashion designer you need to see your life.

Accountability

A friend who understands how difficult your postgrad diploma in statistics is or how competitive grad schools are for your line of profession is more likely to be on your case about how much progress you have made. Probably because they have done it before, want to do it, want to do something similar or understand its importance. When your friends have different goals they may nag you if you have gotten "it" done not fully understanding what "it" is. This is unlike your like-minded friend who can check in at each point with guidance and constructive opinions.

Understanding

Achieving goals comes with a lot of frustrations and setbacks and sometimes you don't need someone rubbing your back saying its ok when clearly your world is falling apart. Having friends who understand what it is you are doing, and who can simultaneously freak out and come up with useful solutions instead of rubbish comfort is so essential!

Resources

I remember the one time my friend sent me notes on outbreak control and told me to watch Contagion after if I didn't want to forget the steps followed in disease outbreak.

honestly which of my accounting friends was going to hook a sister up with such knowledge!? Your goal-twin-hommie has access to resources that you also need! having them at your right hand side means instant access to information that is beneficial for your growth.

Networking

When you are friends with someone who is on similar brain levels as you, chances are they know someone else on The Levels. Soon enough like a spiderweb, you will be connected with such a wholesome cocoon of people in your goal family providing you with all the ingredients you need to be unstoppable which leads to my last point which is:

Progress

As feminist humans we are not trying to be stagnant. The greatest benefit of having friends with similar goals is that they help you achieve them!

So ultimately am I encouraging you to go dump all your friends... no, but! you may want to reconsider how much time you spend with them which is a hard lesson I am trying to learn as well. So I am going to end this with a short exercise which is kind of helping me prioritise my friendships.

• List your most important goals in life in hierarchy of their importance. 
• Against them write the names of friends who are beneficial in achieving those goals
• Prioritize your social time according to those friends... 

If none of your friends make the cut... you may need some new friends 😳😳😳.

The Life & Trials of a Young Zimbabwean Feminist

"Watching" by Tsabo6

The reality is I am not happy with my life. The most frustrating part about being a unemployed feminist is that you spend so much time trying to convince others about how women are just as intelligent as men, or just as powerful, creative and successful but when the people you are trying to convince look at your life, you are not what you preach feminists to be. Its gets to a point where you feel like who am I to preach this gospel!?

I always imagined at 24 I would have some kind of independence like a job, apartment, car and maybe some cash to spend on my family, friends and perhaps the less fortunate.  Then a little left over to buy a few tiny treasures. Instead I find myself sitting in my parents yard eating mangoes in the sun as others leave for work, feeling miserable about the nothing I've achieved so far and forcing myself to feel begrudging happy for other young women who are making it in life and living out MY feminist fantasy.

Its not that Ive given up on life or anything, I am doing stuff! I have been job hunting, been working on my Masters program part-time. I guess I have always just imagined that by now I would have done a lot more! I would have something to show the world that "This is a successful feminist woman!" But I live in Zimbabwe man! jobs are hard to come by here, even volunteer postitions! Some people comfort me saying "But you have a degree, you are working on your masters!" but honestly... those are just pieces of paper. What have I actually done to change the world? what have I done to change a life? How am I any closer to being The Feminist Fantasy Me!? What do I have to show that will make little girls want to know the secret of how to get like me!?

6 months of sitting at home unemployed and I for one can tell you its easy to get hung up on the aspects of your life that people can see like monetary success and a dream job. You expect to be successful or at least on the road to being a feminist success story but that is not your reality. Its definitely not mine! As a self proclaimed Feminist I cringe every single time I have to ask my mom for money for something as simple as roll-on and hate it when people ask what I am doing with my life because its so embarrassing to say nothing.

But is that all my Feminist Fantasy is made up of? Does professional success make me the ideal feminist? Why am I so hung up on this one aspect of my fantasy self I am aspiring to be, when there are so many other aspects of it that I have not achieved yet? What can I do to make me happier with my life? What can I do to get me closer to being the Feminist Fantasy Me I am dying to be?

Sometimes I have to remind myself that being a feminist is not about proving to the world that I can be just as great or probably even greater than any man out there, It's about proving to myself that I can be as great as I want myself to be. I have to remind myself that I am not in competition with any man, I am in competition with myself. So as frustrating as it is to see both men and women succeed professionally while I seemingly remain stagnant its important to remind myself that they are not my competition, I am my competition.

When I think about it there is so much more I want to prove to myself than just professional success! I want to prove to myself that I can be knowledgeable and well read, I want to prove that I can be spiritually sound, I can be invested in my community, be healthy and fit, well groomed, have the ability to choose good company. There are just so many facets that make up the admirable woman I want to be that are not necessarily tangible to the outside world but are a integral fibre to the woman I want to be.

So granted I am not happy with my life at the moment! But instead of being hung up and depressed on the professional aspect that I have little control over of in this Zimbabwean economy I will focus on that which I can. I will push and work on aspects of my behavior and character that will form me into a better woman. I will break bad habits and form new ones proving to myself that I can be the best well-rounded broke feminist that ever walked the streets of Harare. The world may not realize it but I will know I am so much closer to becoming the woman of my Feminist Fantasy.


I don’t believe there is such a thing as a perfect position or a dead-end job. At every step of life, you learn. Life is a journey of learning.” – Mimi Alemayehou

Your Dress IS Your Choice,So Make It a Good One

I have been in a school induced blogging slumber BUT in my defense, finishing university is not that easy! Thankfully (or not!?) because the situation is quite unfortunate, the #mydressmychoice campaign has awakened me and I'm ready to start blurting out my opinions again!

So just a brief background, for those of you who are not familiar with the #mydressmychoice campaign, there has been public outrage in Kenya for a woman who was publicly striped and shamed by bus touts for being what they viewed as being indecently dressed (links provided below) this has sparked debates on what should be considered modest dress as a nation. This incident is not isolated, it is one of many across Kenya and beyond its borders. Just a month ago the same was done to a woman in Harare which is my country of origin. A search on YouTube will show you this is a common trend across Africa.

First of all let me clarify I am a Feminist but I am a conservative Christian first and my moral compass does not agree with people walking around skimpily dressed. In fact in my ideal world, everyone would have an identical moral compass to mine and I would be completely sheltered from all that which I find offensive and  live happily ever after in my perfect morally upright bubble. However realistically speaking I realize I live in Kenya with 42 million other people with each individual  bearing a distinct moral compass of their own which they are loyal to. Today everyone is influenced by diversity in culture, media and internet because the world we live in globalizing creating diverse ideas of what is moral and what is unmoral. Therefore the hope of ever creating a Moral Utopia frankly is never going to happen because ideas of what should be perceived as a collective superior model for modestly will never EVER harmonize.

That being said the idea of moral policing is absurd because what is offensive to me may not be particularly offensive to the next person and people need to realize that DIFFERENCE does not amount CRIME. Such thinking is what started the holocaust. In my opinion issues of morality should be governed between an individual and their God or whatever higher power they choose to believe in. A mere humans responsibility is to try and guide moral issues in a way that allows for dialogue and freedom of choice. whenever it gets mixed with force things always seem to get super messy.

On the flip side if my moral compass did allowed me to walk out in a min-skirt on the streets of Nairobi and I had lovely legs would I do it? Definitely not! And it’s not coming from a place of self-righteousness rather it’s from a place of pure selfishness! I wouldn't do it for the sole reason that these men have already proved that they barbaric and care nothing for my dignity as a human being let alone as a woman. There are certain things and values I will fight for and honestly speaking, considering the implications I have seen for wearing a mini on the media I do not think any version of me would feel so devoted to it to the point that that I would allow myself to be an emotional or worst case scenario, true martyr for the Mini-Skirt cause. I am sorry.  I am yet to meet any woman who is that devoted to her wardrobe.

It is truly unfortunate we live in a society where our laws are so lax it invigorates men to treat women with such insolence and coarseness because they have no fear of retribution. Such a crime would have never happened in Europe or in America because they have rigid systems and law enforcement that protects the 1st world woman. Unfortunately there is a general sense disregard amongst our society when in it comes to our very own Third World Woman particularly the African woman that gives way to negligence when it comes to systems that ensure that a woman gets the respect she is entitled to. I believe this is because many amongst society, even the very enforcers of the law, do not believe she deserves that respect in the first place.

I will not lie, it truly frightens me because just a different outfit choice and location and that could have very easily been me or any one of us! It frightens me to my very core because I have no doubt whatsoever that any man who is SO BOLD to lay his hands on a WOMAN who is a STRANGER and STRIP HER of her clothing in PUBLIC will not think twice to lay is hands on a similarly vulnerable woman in private and rape her.  what’s worse is I paralyze in fear when I realize I  live in a society where these men, even if they faces are caught on camera, are still allowed to walk freely among thousands of vulnerable woman. As a woman I suddenly realize just how unsafe I am on the streets of my own society.

So a piece of advice to ALL my African sisters: mini, midi and maxi wearers. We live in democratic societies which allow us to wear as we wish but that same society does not have systems in place that allow us to express that freedom freely. We are a vulnerable inadequately protected population so putting that into consideration ALONG WITH YOUR MORAL COMPASS (which I can only hope is sound), every morning when you look through your wardrobe remember that: Your dress IS your choice but my sister, knowing the dangerous society we live in... Make sure it a good one.

RELATED LINKS:

THE OTHER KENYA: MY DRESS MY VOTE a KTN Debate
CNN: KENYA'S ANTI-VIOLENCE PROTEST
ARE WOMEN IN MINISKIRTS ASKING FOR RAPE?
HARARE WOMAN STRIPED FOR WEARING MINI

The Dominant Profiles: Patience Mulumba

 



Picture Courtesy of Patience Mulumba



 

Really excited this week because I am introducing a new feature called The Dominant Profiles!!! Its a really random feature but pretty fun! I am profiling females from across the continent LIKE EVERYWHERE! Feminist, non-feminist, Christian, Muslim ANYTHING so long as you are female and have something to say, a goal in your life or a random talent you can be featured here! I just want you to get an idea of what other African women out there are doing and their thoughts and ideas and what they consider Dominant behavior! Hope you get inspired!

 

This week we have the lovely Miss Patience Mulumba, you can also check out her blog Confessions of a Naptural really great stuff on fashion, food and natural hair. Make sure you check it out!

 

 

Name: Patience Mulumba

 

Nationality: Congolese

 

Thoughts on Feminism: Hmmm... well, for one, I encourage feminism. I've had a hard time calling myself a feminist because I'm what people would consider 'traditional' but I've always supported women's rights and encouraged women to step up and show the men that we too are able to lead and to be independent women that others can look up to. I think that that is a major principle of feminism so I guess you can consider me a feminist.

 

 

Post Title:  My Journey to Self-Confidence

 

As women, having confidence is one of those things that we often struggle with. We often say "we live in a society that puts pressure on us to look or feel certain way" but truth is, we kinda to this to ourselves. I've always said to myself that no one can make me feel a certain way unless I allow that person to, and it's true. 

 

Growing up in an African family, my mother would often give me advice on how to be a lady, or "a big girl" as she would say, and carry myself in a manner that was deemed respectable in our culture. She also often showered me with love and compliments so that I would be able to have the level of confidence necessary for me to feel good about myself. 

 

Despite all this, my confidence has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. One minute I believed in myself and felt truly beautiful and the next I was down, or comparing myself to so-and-so and wondering why I wasn't as pretty as her. All these thoughts really put me down and at the time, I was going through transition periods in my personal life so I was just a wreck. With time, I came to realize that it was all in my mind, I was being too harsh on myself and trying to conform to unrealistic standards. The mind is a powerful tool and failure to master it can actually have rather detrimental effects. I'm a thinker, always thinking, so I had to figure out how to use that to my advantage.

 

As I write this, I can honestly say that I have come to terms with who I am, what I look like, and I'm focusing on self improvement. It's not always perfect but I'm just looking for ways to be a better person. And I want to share with you how I managed to finally take charge on my mind and embrace the person that I am today. I do not want to make this unnecessary long so I will give you what I believe are the most important tips.

 

The first thing you should do pray. Yes, pray your heart out. Tell God how you feel. Ask him for help and for guidance. That is honestly the first thing I did because I was tired of feeling miserable and I needed change. 

 

Second, remember that you are 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. This part isn't always easy so this is how I dealt with it. Just promise you won't judge me because it works! I live with my brother and sister in law right now and they think I'm a nudist so they never barge into my room. This is the reason why: I remember Tyra Banks telling girls that they should look into the mirror and each day, pick something about themselves that they like and focus on that. So I do exactly that. I strip, look at myself in the mirror and try to embrace all my flaws and all my perfections all the same. I chill like that for a few hours and just embrace it. It's your body, you can't get rid of it, so you might as well just face it and embrace it. 

 

Third, love yourself. And by this I mean learn to love your personality, and who you are. I'm an introvert and for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't the social butterfly and occasionally had social anxiety. I was able to mask this in high school by running for leadership positions and acquiring them. It was truly an inner battle for me but I was able to do it. Plus there were only 100-120 people at my school, faculty included. When I moved to Montreal I could no longer hide behind that mask because I now attend school with 40,000 other students. I did not have the social skills to get around and I thank God that my current friends approached me and talked to me because I would otherwise be a loner. Not that I mind, I really cherish my alone time, lol. Sorry for going off on a tangent. Basically what I'm saying is that if you are the social butterfly, embrace that, but also if you are shy and really want to break out of your shell, I say fake it till you make it! It works! Sometimes I approach people and keep 'calm' on the outside but my heart is racing. I still do it anyway, I can't be a loner forever! And if you're an introvert, read 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking' by Susan Cain. Best book ever, it will help you understand yourself better. And for my girls that don't like their character, there's always room for improvement. It's never too late. 

 

Next, take care of yourself. When you look good, you feel good, right? Set time aside to pamper yourself. If it means painting your nails or going to the spa, do it. Eat healthy, but also indulge in a few treats, exercise, and squeeze in a few lazy days! Taking care of yourself can also mean reflecting on your life and cutting our toxic people. It's ok to love people at a distance, because sometimes that's just what you have to do in order to focus on your self improvement.

 

Last but not least, have fun and do what you love. Don't take life to seriously, but don't be irrational either. Have fun, surround yourself with those who truly love and care for you, and do what you love. If you don't like that cubicle at work, maybe its time to follow your dreams and do something different. This can boost your confidence. That's something I'm still working on... doing what love... but I'll figure it out sooner than later. 

 

I hope that this article was helpful! share and tell us what you do to improve your confidence.

 

Wishing you all the best!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



#THEAFRICAWEWANT

IMAGE BY EMMA COLLISON

I have always loved Africa. Being a kid in America I remember both of my parents working really hard and going to school at the same time. Sometimes I would hear them talk of what to me, at the time, seemed like a fantastical land called Africa. This was a magical place where interesting aunts and uncles (many of whom I later found out were of no blood relation) would come and visit from. My parents would be so excited! They would switch to a language I proudly called "my language" even though I could not speak a single word of it. These aunts and uncles would come bearing interesting gifts like: the hugest bath soap I had ever seen called Geisha which was too large for my little hands to carry; grainy cornmeal that would be mixed into boiling water to make a African dish that would be eaten with the tiniest fish I had ever seen with their heads still intact. I would be so excited and proud of this culture I knew nothing about. Asking my aunts to give my white dolls legit Shona names,  listening in on the big peoples conversation on how things were back home and stories about the home my dad had bought for us back in the capital city.

It was the land where everyone from my African church came from. I never really knew what specific country they came from, being so young, but I called all of them uncle and auntie. I'm supposing the concept was: "If they are African, they are family".  You can imagine my excitement when my parents told us we were moving back. Although we were not returning to Zimbabwe, we would be in Kenya, and that was still a part of my fantasy land! I was so excited I did not even shed a single tear and believe it or not... Africa did not disappoint!

We moved to a university campus where my parents were lecturers and there where kids from literally every corner of the continent and beyond. It was amazing, we had the strongest bond ever! running to school together, playing in the rain, sleepovers, all sorts of mischief and drama but we were soo happy. Our friendship was the kind that lasts forever, It was perfection and everything I imagined my African Fantasy Land would be.

UNFORTUNATELY, I GREW UP... Reading widely, personal experience and a college education in development quickly shattered my fantasy of the Africa I thought I knew. The simplest assumptions I had were discredited like: not all African women were like my mother, in fact my mother was a part of only 50% of African women who have basic literacy, let alone a tertiary education; that not everyone was lucky enough to afford a absurdly large bar of Geisha or that there were people that slept hungry not having even smelt sadza or matemba in days because they could not afford it. Without rose-tinted glasses I could now see that my Africa had wars based on resources, greed and hate that turned 3.4 million regular citizens into refugees the majority of which are women and children leaving them eternally scared and traumatized. I never knew that people were not proud of being African and associated it with uncouthness and had a warped perception of what was beautiful which did not include dark skin or kinky hair. They had a perception that did not include a reflection of themselves. And maybe the saddest part of all was after seeing hate crimes based on issues of tribalism, xenophobia, politics and even religion, I came to realize that not all Africans were family.

The Africa I want and the Africa I believe we all want is the Africa Fantasy Land of my childhood. Where there are no stores of abducted school-girls in Nigeria. Quite contrary I would like to know young girls and boys are running happily to school every morning with educated fathers and mothers to look up to. Their little bodies are scrubbed clean with Geisha and their bellies are full with all the Sadza and Matemba they can eat. Life would be wonderful because together we would put an end to these nonsensical wars like the ones in Congo and Sudan and use our resources to serve the people, giving refugees in Dadaab and displaced people around the continent a chance at stability and normality. Nothing would make me happier than seeing a group of young girls who are convinced that Black is Beautiful! no matter how deep the hue or how tight the kinks in their hair are. That they do not have to shape themselves against a western standard of beauty because their African standard is just as good. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY the Africa want... is a family. The kind that assists each other in times of crisis like sisters would, with no issues of tribalism or xenophobia.

So if you asked me around 15 years ago the kind of Africa I want, I would have probably told you something absurd like: " I want it to be the worlds next super power!" or "we will be hyper developed with a man on the moon!" because the Africa I knew then was a fantasy. With Age has come the burden of  reality and acceptance that we have to crawl before we walk. Therefore my hopes for my future Africa are simple: Universal empowerment, Peace, Eradication of Poverty, Improved self Image but most importantly I believe the Africa we want is one with true unity where Africa is a family.

Why I Will Always Kneel Before My Father ( and occasionally my brothers)

ART BY THOMPSON NAMUKABA

Last week my dear Friend Eby told me he does not support Feminism because he believes that his future wife ought to show him respect and be submissive. My other friend said that he would expect his future wife to serve him his meals, maybe washing his hands not so much but serving him his food frequently would be nice. and yet another friend asked me if I support Solange's crazy battering of Jay-z now that I am a public feminist (that one made me laugh). It then occurred to me that many African men and women associate Feminism with being difficult and uncooperative which are horrible traits for anyone to have but to many African individuals it may seem so much worse because the submissiveness of a women is deeply embedded in African culture.

These fears that people have are not unfounded. Many African Feminists speak out against these practices calling them antiquated and regressive denouncing practices such as kneeling before men as being patriarchal and degrading to women and call for them to be done away with. As one article by Mandy Nyembs put it  "I could certainly kneel for the patriarchs in my family but not for a partner. Respect comes in many forms but kneeling for a partner takes away from the emancipation of women."

Call me a fake Feminist if you need to, but this kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. This is my personal opinion but as African Feminists are we not African first then Feminist second? Our Forefathers contrary to popular belief were not backward sadistic monsters who sought to build a continent on the backs of women, neither were our fore mothers dimwitted people who could not tell the difference between oppression and culture and therefore be unable to revolt against it. Sometimes I feel as Africans we always feel that "If we are doing it White we are doing it Right" as blogger Siyanda Writes puts it "You see this every day in many Africans associating their own cultures with all things ‘back-wards’ and ‘simple-minded’ as though the West has claimed some sort of trade-mark on ‘progress (even though she doesn't agree with a lot of cultural practices).

Culture is important! it creates a common identity and with common identity comes unity. unfortunately due to colonialism our culture has been so scrambled and mixed with western ideas we can not appreciate it and value each others needs. I believe that this is one of the reasons we have so much civil unrest on the continent. The culture of giving respect to a man realises that men and women are different. This is not to say one is greater than the other, we are just different therefore have different needs. men have a need to be recognised as providers where as women have the need for affection. No need is greater than the other and possessing one of the needs does not make you any less important. We always tend to forget the fact that this culture does not only apply to men but to elders as well male and female and other people in the society who have earned the respect. We need to realise that paying respect to people even when we feel they do not deserve it, is not weakness contrary it shows great strength in character! The most celebrated and loved world leaders today are those who possessed (and posses) humility by showing respect to people who haven't necessarily done anything to earn it.

As a new generation of African Feminists it is important that we realise that women around the world are different. What some women may view as oppression may actually be an expression of cultural heritage. Many African women I know are proud of their submissiveness and they are happy, great at their jobs and are still respected figures in society! They are amazing role models for the young African Feminists and what is more important is that their personal relationships are intact showing that it is possible to be a submissive woman AND a strong Feminist.

To conclude I do realize that there are situations in which the patriarchal system in Africa is abused and to this I believe it is important that we as African Feminists should speak out against. however to condemn cultural practices that are performed in an unabusive setting as being unfeminist is to alienate a great majority of women on this continent who take pride in these very same practices from feminist the movement. Knowing our continental problems as African women, we have bigger fish to fry and issues such as showing respect shouldn't be one of them. So because of this when culture calls for it I will always kneel before my father, future husband and perhaps maybe (if they are VERY lucky) my brothers :)



Want to know more about how people feel about culture and Feminism? Educate yourself by checking out these links:

Talks about the importance of culture and what the Idoni organisation is doing to promote culture.

Siyanda Writes on Patriarchy and Culture ( A bit out there but that is her brand, LOVE IT!)

THE AFROFEMINIST

J.G. Boccella 2013

 THE AFROFEMINIST

"What are you doing not in your country right now? Why did you run off to America, Darling Nonkululeko Nkala, huh? If it’s your country, you have to love it to live in it and not leave it. You have to fight for it no matter what, to make it right. Tell me, do you abandon your house because it’s burning or do you find water to put out the fire? And if you leave it burning, do you expect the flames to turn into water and put themselves out? You left it, Darling, my dear, you left the house burning and you have the guts to tell me, in that accent that you were not even born with, that this is your country?"

I read this in a book a couple of months ago. Its an AMAZING book called We Need New Names by Noviolet Bulawayo (you can review it here on Goodreads). It tells the story of Darling, the female protagonist who has always dreamed of moving to America for a better life and when she finally does move she gets absorbed into the American lifestyle and trying to blend in. In the midst of this she ends up losing touch with her friends, family and pretty much the Zimbabwean situation back home. At the very end of the book in a weak attempt to maintain ties she calls her old friend Chipo still living in Zimbabwe and in a pursuit to sympathize she tries to identify herself with the struggles back home and the conversation above is what ensues.

Being Zimbabwean myself I can sympathize with Darling. The feeling of being Zimbabwean is similar to the feeling of falling out of grace. To be Zimbabwean is to be identified with a useless currency, poverty, complicated politics and so many other things I cannot begin to list. Sometimes you want to get away from it all and be like "Yes I am Zimbabwean, BUT... I grew up in Kenya or South Africa, the UK, America etc...." some kind of excuse, something to distance yourself from all the negativity. Luckily for our country there are those people like Chipo who are fiercely proud and patriotic who decide that they would rather stay in Zimbabwe and ACTIVELY try and make things better regardless  of the unfavorable conditions and traits attached to the identity to me she is the True Zimbabwean.

What does this have to do with Feminism? Starting this blog I knew I wanted to write about Feminist issues but I did not want to be identified as a Feminist because Feminism to me has always been identified with hostility, forcefulness and aggressiveness. Being a African Conservative Christian I could not see how Feminism as I see it currently being portrayed could harmonize with my beliefs and culture. I guess I was kind of being a Darling, sharing with her the desire to sympathize with a cause but not wanting to share the full weight that comes along with being fully devoted to it or not wanting to face the hostility I might receive as a result of being distinctly identified with it. Unlike the patriotic Chipo, I did not want to be a patriotic feminist because I did not want to be labeled threatening or as one of my friends put it "a feminist man-hater"

My mother said something very poignant about this she said "Feminism has been around for a very long time and what began as a noble movement has been messed up by other people hijacking it and turning it into something negative and because of this good people with amazing causes are not listened to because of the label "Feminist". My mother is not the only one who cringes at word "feminist" just last week actress Shailene Woodley was stoned by feminists in the media for refusing to call herself a feminist.and in an article on Defining African Feminism African Feminist Fungai Machirori comments on Feminism in Zimbabwe (and I guess we can broadly say Africa), that "A Feminist identity connotes rebellion and radicalism. Feminism is still largely something that other people do."

This being said, with soo much pessimistic energy floating around it, what average African female or male putting into consideration our cultures and beliefs, would want to be called a feminist? I decided to read up on some feminist history and came up with this summary: The original feminist sought to prove that women were capable in their own right and not just an extension of men. They fought, so that women could be given equal opportunities as men to express their potential and therefore make their own meaningful contribution to the creation of a better society. Because of this, women today globally are allowed access to better education, good jobs, participation in government, and legislative policies that protect us against evils we previously were vulnerable to. We now have all these rights that we take for granted not realizing that these were once privileges we did not have access to and that others especially on our continent still do not have access to.

The world has come a long way since then but we have not arrived at our destination. To be specific in Africa, women make up a little over half of the population but across the continent we are only represented by just two female Heads of State.  And It is not just Heads of State where we have low ratios of women, this trend is also  widespread in African Parliaments and Government seats where politics is considered a Boys Game. Because of culture and society female leaders in politics, business, education even religion are often intimidated, harassed and discriminated against based on their womanhood and not on their policies or their capabilities. There is so much stigma attached to being a successful women, an expressive woman, a passionate woman, a strong willed woman and these are just a fraction of the problems faced by but not exclusive to the Urban African woman! those faced by the rural woman are so much more severe, they are more prone to numerous issues such as Gender Based Violence, access to education and sexual assault because they are not in an environment that encourages them to practice their rights as women freely.

So knowing that there is so much that needs to be done in regards to AfroFeminism do we abandon the cause due to stigma? campaign for it halfheartedly  due to a label? In my opinion, to use Chipo's words "What are you doing not being a AfroFeminist!? If the Cause is yours you have to love it, not leave it, you need to fight for it and make those misconceptions that people have about it right! You cant leave it to burn in the fire of negativity because negativity wont put itself out. You cant claim the cause if you don't want to be a part of the cause." You need to be the True Feminist!

Because of this I personally feel that it is important for me and other Africans to identify ourselves as Feminists regardless of the negative connotations attached to the label. We need to educate people and make them understand the core beliefs of feminism ACTIVELY doing what we can to change perceptions so that Feminism can be restored to its original NOBLE reputation and women across the continent can be enabled to make their own meaning contributions towards a better society.

Therefore I AM A AFROFEMINIST! What are you?




Want to be a part of the AfroFeminist Movement? You can start by checking out these links:

50 African Women You Should Follow on Twitter
Defining African Feminism (I loved this one!)
How African Feminism Changed The World

Please feel free to share your views openly!