Your Dress IS Your Choice,So Make It a Good One

I have been in a school induced blogging slumber BUT in my defense, finishing university is not that easy! Thankfully (or not!?) because the situation is quite unfortunate, the #mydressmychoice campaign has awakened me and I'm ready to start blurting out my opinions again!

So just a brief background, for those of you who are not familiar with the #mydressmychoice campaign, there has been public outrage in Kenya for a woman who was publicly striped and shamed by bus touts for being what they viewed as being indecently dressed (links provided below) this has sparked debates on what should be considered modest dress as a nation. This incident is not isolated, it is one of many across Kenya and beyond its borders. Just a month ago the same was done to a woman in Harare which is my country of origin. A search on YouTube will show you this is a common trend across Africa.

First of all let me clarify I am a Feminist but I am a conservative Christian first and my moral compass does not agree with people walking around skimpily dressed. In fact in my ideal world, everyone would have an identical moral compass to mine and I would be completely sheltered from all that which I find offensive and  live happily ever after in my perfect morally upright bubble. However realistically speaking I realize I live in Kenya with 42 million other people with each individual  bearing a distinct moral compass of their own which they are loyal to. Today everyone is influenced by diversity in culture, media and internet because the world we live in globalizing creating diverse ideas of what is moral and what is unmoral. Therefore the hope of ever creating a Moral Utopia frankly is never going to happen because ideas of what should be perceived as a collective superior model for modestly will never EVER harmonize.

That being said the idea of moral policing is absurd because what is offensive to me may not be particularly offensive to the next person and people need to realize that DIFFERENCE does not amount CRIME. Such thinking is what started the holocaust. In my opinion issues of morality should be governed between an individual and their God or whatever higher power they choose to believe in. A mere humans responsibility is to try and guide moral issues in a way that allows for dialogue and freedom of choice. whenever it gets mixed with force things always seem to get super messy.

On the flip side if my moral compass did allowed me to walk out in a min-skirt on the streets of Nairobi and I had lovely legs would I do it? Definitely not! And it’s not coming from a place of self-righteousness rather it’s from a place of pure selfishness! I wouldn't do it for the sole reason that these men have already proved that they barbaric and care nothing for my dignity as a human being let alone as a woman. There are certain things and values I will fight for and honestly speaking, considering the implications I have seen for wearing a mini on the media I do not think any version of me would feel so devoted to it to the point that that I would allow myself to be an emotional or worst case scenario, true martyr for the Mini-Skirt cause. I am sorry.  I am yet to meet any woman who is that devoted to her wardrobe.

It is truly unfortunate we live in a society where our laws are so lax it invigorates men to treat women with such insolence and coarseness because they have no fear of retribution. Such a crime would have never happened in Europe or in America because they have rigid systems and law enforcement that protects the 1st world woman. Unfortunately there is a general sense disregard amongst our society when in it comes to our very own Third World Woman particularly the African woman that gives way to negligence when it comes to systems that ensure that a woman gets the respect she is entitled to. I believe this is because many amongst society, even the very enforcers of the law, do not believe she deserves that respect in the first place.

I will not lie, it truly frightens me because just a different outfit choice and location and that could have very easily been me or any one of us! It frightens me to my very core because I have no doubt whatsoever that any man who is SO BOLD to lay his hands on a WOMAN who is a STRANGER and STRIP HER of her clothing in PUBLIC will not think twice to lay is hands on a similarly vulnerable woman in private and rape her.  what’s worse is I paralyze in fear when I realize I  live in a society where these men, even if they faces are caught on camera, are still allowed to walk freely among thousands of vulnerable woman. As a woman I suddenly realize just how unsafe I am on the streets of my own society.

So a piece of advice to ALL my African sisters: mini, midi and maxi wearers. We live in democratic societies which allow us to wear as we wish but that same society does not have systems in place that allow us to express that freedom freely. We are a vulnerable inadequately protected population so putting that into consideration ALONG WITH YOUR MORAL COMPASS (which I can only hope is sound), every morning when you look through your wardrobe remember that: Your dress IS your choice but my sister, knowing the dangerous society we live in... Make sure it a good one.

RELATED LINKS:

THE OTHER KENYA: MY DRESS MY VOTE a KTN Debate
CNN: KENYA'S ANTI-VIOLENCE PROTEST
ARE WOMEN IN MINISKIRTS ASKING FOR RAPE?
HARARE WOMAN STRIPED FOR WEARING MINI